I would like to write these words about GRIEF. In the past year i have been unfortunate enough to loose a lifetime friend Ginty, my cat Prince Valentine and last but by no means least, my blood sister Jane, who passed away only a few months ago. So while my grieving process is so fresh and strong i would like to try and write about this difficult journey which we all have to go through or experience at some, or many points in our lives.
GRIEF is a strange and powerful emotion which we need to process, we can grieve for many different things, it is not strictly something we will experience when someone or something in our life dies. We can GRIEVE for many different reasons and for many different experiences. I believe GRIEF can be one of our most powerful states of emotional pain and suffering. GRIEF for a loved one, wife, husband, partner, child, sibling or friend can be so emotionally painful, it can be deadly in its own right. The sheer emotional weight of fear, pain and anxiety which comes with GRIEF is mainly avoided by humans. These feelings are too strong and consume us with too much pain to allow ourselves to fully experience them. Our natural emotional preservation kicks in and allows us to either distract ourselves from this experience or just bury it deep inside, which allows us to be in denial of the GRIEVING process. So to break this emotional process down to basics, its the mother of all pain and internal discomfort, it can even make a human being who is suffering from deep GRIEF feel like they themselves are actually dying inside. So when we avoid the GRIEVING process for whatever reasons, this great pain and sadness is stored away within our souls and can lead to a permanent state of distress which we gradually accclimatise ourselves to. This dynamic of personal emotional denial, over time can manifest into a myriad of emotional and physical ailments.
In order for us to go through the GRIEVING process in an emotionally healthy manor we have to open our hearts to the full force of our GRIEF. Embrace this pain, and understand that it is born from our love and compassion, understanding the pain and sadness in this way helps us to accept the tragedy of our loss, this is the first step we must take in order to feel and then let go of the emotional weight of our GRIEF. We simply have to express this inner turmoil in any way we can. We are not designed to hold onto and carry heavy negative emotion. Imagine holding out your arm with a glass of water in your hand. We can do this with relative comfort for a while, but no matter how strong we are, sooner or later, the glass of water becomes too heavy and we will have to put it down or let it go. The weight of the simple glass of water becomes too great to hold onto. Emotional discomfort in humans is similar. The longer we hold onto it, the heavier it gets, the greater the burden of GRIEF becomes.
So in principal the quicker we can process negative emotion, GRIEF, pain, anxiety, sadness, loneliness or fear, the healthier we become. Super healthy humans, through great practice, only feel negative emotions fleetingly, then let them go. Personally maintaining there emotional wellbeing.
Through embracing my grief for my sister, slowly coming to terms with the fact that i would never see her again, never speak with her or share her company. The painful emotions gradualy eased and made way for my acceptance and compassion. I feel i have gained new strength and depth to my understanding of death and life. My love for my sister is full in my heart, the pain has gone away. The great spirit of my sister is within me and this is a great comfort. I feel blessed to have the honor of being her brother and sharing her life on this earth.
We have to let go….in order to flow…..
Be carefull out there, its a mad, mad world we livin in….
Bless ya souls….